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The Great Onion Hoax

The Onion is a satirical site.  The stories found at this site can be funny, shocking or offensive, but they are FAKE.  A hoax.  A joke.
 
Mr. Dollins took one of their satires as honest journalism (there's an oxymoron) and used it as the main contributor to his little manifesto against Harry Potter.
 
PLEASE READ THIS "ARTICLE" BELOW.  It is, afterall, the main resources for Dollins' book.  Sometimes he credits it, sometimes he lies about where the information came from.  But what it all boils down to is this one satire.
 
Now, I give you ...
 
Spark Rise In Satanism Among Children

LOCK HAVEN, PA--Ashley Daniels is as close as you can get to your typical 9-year-old American girl. A third-grader at Lock Haven Elementary School, she loves rollerblading, her pet hamsters Benny and Oreo, Britney Spears, and, of course, Harry Potter. Having breezed through the most recent Potter opus in just four days, Ashley is among the millions of children who have made Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire the fastest-selling book in publishing history.

And, like many of her school friends, Ashley was captivated enough by the strange occult doings at the Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry to pursue the Left-Hand Path, determined to become as adept at the black arts as Harry and his pals.

"I used to believe in what they taught us at Sunday School," said Ashley, conjuring up an ancient spell to summon Cerebus, the three-headed hound of hell. "But the Harry Potter books showed me that magic is real, something I can learn and use right now, and that the Bible is nothing but boring lies."

Ashley is hardly the only child rejecting God these days. Weeks after the release of Goblet, the fourth book in J.K. Rowling's blockbuster kid-lit series, interest in witchcraft continues to skyrocket among children. Across America, Satanic temples are filling to the rafters with youngsters clamoring for instruction in summoning and conjuring.

Over protests from Christian Right leaders, who oppose the books for containing magic--and, by extension, Satanic religious beliefs--millions of children are willing their bodies and souls to Lucifer in unholy blood covenants. In 1995, it was estimated that some 100,000 Americans, mostly adults, were involved in devil-worship groups. Today, more than 14 million children alone belong to the Church of Satan, thanks largely to the unassuming boy wizard from 4 Privet Drive.

"The Harry Potter books are cool, 'cause they teach you all about magic and how you can use it to control people and get revenge on your enemies," said Hartland, WI, 10-year-old Craig Nowell, a recent convert to the New Satanic Order Of The Black Circle. "I want to learn the Cruciatus Curse, to make my muggle science teacher suffer for giving me a D."

"Hermione is my favorite, because she's smart and has a kitty," said 6-year-old Jessica Lehman of Easley, SC. "Jesus died because He was weak and stupid."

But as wild as children are about Harry, no one is happier about the phenomenon than old-school Satanists, who were struggling to recruit new members prior to the publication of the first Potter book in 1997.

"Harry is an absolute godsend to our cause," said High Priest Egan of the First Church Of Satan in Salem, MA. "An organization like ours thrives on new blood--no pun intended--and we've had more applicants than we can handle lately. And, of course, practically all of them are virgins, which is gravy."

With membership in Satanic temples reaching critical mass in some areas, many children have been forced to start their own organizations to worship the Lord Of Lies. Houston 11-year-old Bradley Winters, who purchased Goblet Of Fire with his own allowance money at the stroke of midnight on July 8, organized his own club, Potterites To Destroy Jesus, with his neighborhood pals. An admission fee of .66 grants membership to any applicant willing to curse the name of God and have a lightning bolt carved into his or her forehead with an iron dagger.

"The Harry Potter books are awesome!" Winters said. "When I grow up, I'm going to learn Necromancy and summon greater demons to Earth."

It's more than just the kiddie set and Satanists, however, who are rejoicing over Harry's success. Educators nationwide are praising the books for getting children excited about reading.

"It's almost impossible to find a book that can compete with those PlayStation games, but Harry Potter has done it," said Gulfport (MS) Middle School principal Frank Grieg. "I have this one student in the fifth grade who'd never read a book before in his life. Now he's read Sorcerer's Stone, Prisoner Of Azkaban, Chamber Of Secrets, Goblet Of Fire, The Seven Scrolls Of The Black Rose, The Necronomicon, The Satanic Bible, The Origin Of Species--you name it."

Less pleased are Christian leaders, who see Pottermania as a serious threat to their way of life.

"Children are very impressionable," said Dr. Andrea Collins of Focus On Faith, a Denver-based Christian think-tank and advocacy group. "These books do not merely depict one or two uses of magic spells or crystal balls. We're talking about hundreds of occult invocations. The natural, intuitive leap from reading a Harry Potter book to turning against God and worshipping Satan is very easy for a child to make, as the numbers have shown."

"These books are truly magical," Collins added, "and therefore dangerous."

But such protests are falling on largely deaf ears, especially in the case of Harry's creator.

"I think it's absolute rubbish to protest children's books on the grounds that they are luring children to Satan," Rowling told a London Times reporter in a July 17 interview. "People should be praising them for that! These books guide children to an understanding that the weak, idiotic Son Of God is a living hoax who will be humiliated when the rain of fire comes, and will suck the greasy cock of the Dark Lord while we, his faithful servants, laugh and cavort in victory."

_____________________________

DOLLINS LIES ABOUT QUOTES!

Besides the pages devoted to little Ashely, Dollins also puts five quotes from this "story" in his book and lies about (or hides) the source.

1. On page 48, Dollins says, "Listen to what high Priest Egan of the First Church of Satan in Salem, Massachusetts has to say about the Potter books: 'Harry is an absolute godsend to our cause. An organization like ours thrives on 'new blood' --no pun intended--and we've had more applicants than we can handle lately.' "

Dollins credits this quote to www.ChurchofSatan.com

The next four are found on pages 64 and 65.  See if you can pick out his blatant lies.

" With the popularity of the Harry Potter book series, I was sure that one of the Satanic sites would have some sort of remarks about them and I was right! One of these particular websites had and article on Harry Potter stating:

'In 1995, it was estimated that some 100,000 Americans, mostly adults, were involved in devil-worship groups. Today, more than 14 million children alone belong to the Church of Satan, thanks largely to the unassuming boy wizard from 4 Privet Drive.'  (Harry's street address)." 

"Imagine, Harry Potter books being praised by Satanists as a great recruiting tool! The article included comments from young Satanists. One of the comments came from 6-year-old Jessica Lehman of Easley, South Carolina staking:

'Hermione is my favorite, because she's smart and has a kitty. Jesus died because He was weak and stupid.'

Can you feel the hatred towards Christianity in this comment? Keep in mind, their goal is to wipe Christianity and any trace of God off the earth!

Another comment comes from 11-year-old Bradley Winters, who stated:

'The Harry Potter books are awesome! When I grow up, I'm going to learn Necromancy and summon greater demons to Earth.'

The author of this Satanic article concluded the article with the following statement:

'I think it's absolute rubbish to protest children's books on the grounds that they are luring children to Satan," Rowling told a London Times reporter in a July 17 interview. "People should be praising them for that! These books guide children to an understanding that the weak, idiotic Son Of God is a living hoax who will be humiliated when the rain of fire comes, and will suck the greasy cock of the Dark Lord while we, his faithful servants, laugh and cavort in victory. "

All four quotes were simply attributed to "the internet". He remembered that it was from the article by The Onion in little Ashley's case.  And since when is The Onion a Satanic site?

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Dollins uses both of the above photos in his book.  They are from that article that "The Onion" ran. 
 
(Dollins also miscredits five quotes from this article, which I have pointed out at the bottom of the column on the left.)
 
An email hoax is still floating around thanks to people like Mr. Dollins that took this seriously. www.truthorfiction.com and www.snopes.com both have info on the hoax. 
 
If you get the following email, please reply to "all" and let them know that it is a farce and give them the links provided on this page.
 
The email:
(there are a couple of variations of this)
 
Subject: Harry Potter.......Please Read..........Take a look @ this Harry Potter.......Please Read..........

we need to pray for ALL THE Children who read this book and other books like it.

Harry Potter Books

YOU MIGHT WANT TO SHARE THIS WITH YOUR FLOCK.

Harry Potter Books?

This is the most evil thing I have laid my eyes ... and no one seems to understand its threat. The Harry Potter books are THE NUMBER ONE selling children's books in the nation today. Just look at any Barnes & Noble or Waldenbook storefront. Go to Amazon.com and read the reviews. Hear the touting by educators and even Christian teachers about how "It's great to see the youth so eagerly embracing the reading experience!"

Harry Potter is the creation of a former UK English teacher who promotes witchcraft and Satanism. Harry is a 13 year old 'wizard.' Her creation openly blasphemes Jesus and God and promotes sorcery, seeking revenge upon anyone who upsets them by giving you examples (even the sources with authors and titles!) of spells, rituals, and demonic powers. It is the doorway for children to enter the Dark Side of evil.

I think the problem is that parents have not reviewed the material.

The name seems harmless enough... Harry Potter.

But that is where it all ends. Let me give you a few quotes from some of the influenced readers themselves:

"The Harry Potter books are cool, 'cause they teach you all about magic and how you can use it to control people and get revenge on your enemies," said Hartland, WI, 10-year-old Craig Nowell, a recent convert to the New Satanic Order Of The Black Circle. "I want to learn the Cruciatus Curse, to make my muggle science teacher suffer for giving me a D." [A 'muggle' is an unbeliever of magic.]

Or how about the REALLY young and innocent impressionable mind of a 6 year old when asked about her favorite character: "Hermione is my favorite, because she's smart and has a kitty," said 6-year-old Jessica Lehman of Easley, SC. "Jesus died because He was weak and stupid."

And here is dear Ashley, a 9 year old, the typical average age reader of Harry Potter: "I used to believe in what they taught us at Sunday School," said Ashley, conjuring up an ancient spell to summon Cerebus, the three-headed hound of hell. "But the Harry Potter books showed me that magic is real, something I can learn and use right now, and that the Bible is nothing but boring lies."

DOES THIS GET YOUR ATTENTION!!

If not, how about a quote from a High Priest of Satanism:

"Harry is an absolute godsend to our cause," said High Priest Egan of the First Church Of Satan in Salem, MA. "An organization like ours thrives on new blood - no pun intended - and we've had more applicants than we can handle lately. And, of course, practically all of them are virgins, which is gravy."

[Since 1995, open applicants to Satan worship has increased from around 100,000 to now... 14 MILLION children and young adults!]

It makes me physically ill, people! But, I think I can offer you an explanation of why this is happening. Children have been bombarded with action, adventure, thrills and scares to the point Hollywood can produce nothing new to give them the next 'high.' Parents have neglected to see what their children are reading and doing, and simply seem satisfied that 'Little Johnny is interested in reading.' AND... educators and the NEA are PUSHING this crap with NO WARNING as to the effects or the contents.

Still not convinced? I will leave you with something to let you make up your own mind. First the URL to read some background of what I have given you: http://theonion.com/onion3625/harry_potter.html ( Harry PotterBooks Spark Rise In Satanism Among Children ) and finally, a quote from the author herself, J. K. Rowling, describing the objections of Christian reviewers to her writings: "I think it's absolute rubbish to protest children's books on the grounds that they are luring children to Satan," Rowling told a London Times reporter in a July 17 interview. " People should be praising them for that! These books guide children to an understanding that the weak, idiotic Son Of God is a living hoax who will be humiliated when the rain of fire comes,... while we, his faithful servants, laugh and cavort in victory."

My hope is that you will see fit to become involved in getting the word out about this garbage. Please FWD to every pastor, teacher, and parent you know. This author has now published FOUR BOOKS in less than 2 years of this 'encyclopedia of Satanism' and is surely going to write more. I also ask all Christians to please pray for this lost woman's soul.

Pray also for the Holy Spirit to work in the young minds of those who are reading this garbage that they may be delivered from its harm.

Lastly, pray for all parents to grow closer to their children, and that a bond of sharing thoughts and spiritual intimacy will grow between them.